BRING HAPPILY MARRIED

 BEING HAPPILY MARRIED

It was during a church counseling session that Sister Helen broke down in tears. For over ten years, her marriage had been a battlefield. Her husband, Brother Chuka, a once-loving man, had become withdrawn and cold. They lived under the same roof but were worlds apart. What shattered her most was not the absence of love, but the absence of harmony. Her story, unfortunately, echoed that of many couples—marriages that started with joy but lost their dignity along the way. Yet, by the grace of God and intentional effort, Helen and Chuka rediscovered their marital dignity and harmony.

1. Enter the Marriage with the Determination to Succeed

“And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee… thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.” – Ruth 1:16 (KJV)

Marriage is not a contract; it’s a covenant. Ruth's resolve to stay with Naomi reflects the kind of unwavering commitment required in marriage. Many enter marriage hoping it works. But the key is entering determined to make it work. An adage says, “A successful marriage is not found, it is built.”

2. Humility for Both Parties

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands… Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife.” – 1 Peter 3:1,7 (KJV)

Queen Vashti lost her crown because of pride (Esther 1:9-16). She refused to honor her husband’s invitation, and that singular act shattered the harmony of the royal home. In contrast, Esther, with humility and grace, won the king’s heart and favor to the point that he organized banquets in her honor. Marriage thrives where humility dwells. “Pride leads to conflict, but humility brings harmony.”

3. Recognize the Husband as the Head – Not a Competitor

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife.” – Ephesians 5:22-23 (KJV)

God designed marriage with divine order. It’s not about superiority, but about roles. A woman who tries to compete with her husband will eventually create conflict. Two captains on a ship cause confusion. “A house divided against itself shall not stand.”

4. Purity and Trust Must Be Guarded

“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” – Hebrews 13:4 (KJV)

When the marital bed is defiled—through infidelity, pornography, or secrecy—trust erodes. Purity is the foundation of lasting intimacy. Lack of trust is the silent destroyer of many marriages. Trust, like glass, once broken, never reflects the same. “Suspicion is a poison that kills love slowly.”

5. The Profit and Secrets of Oneness

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked… and were not ashamed.” – Genesis 2:24-25 (KJV)

Oneness is God’s design for marriage. Unity is powerful. Where there is unity, God commands blessings (Psalm 133:1-3). The devil thrives in division (John 10:10). The benefits of oneness include:

Unbearable Strength: “…now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.” – Genesis 11:6 (KJV)

Amplified Effort: “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9 (KJV)

Unhindered Prayers: “Likewise, ye husbands… that your prayers be not hindered.” – 1 Peter 3:7 (KJV)

Unlimited Potentials: There’s no telling how far united couples can go.

Enviable and Wholesome Children: “That he might seek a godly seed.” – Malachi 2:15 (KJV); “His seed shall be mighty upon earth.” – Psalm 112:2 (KJV); “Their offspring shall be known among the nations.” – Isaiah 61:9 (KJV)

6. Anointed, Love-Filled Homes Resist Evil

“He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” – 1 John 4:8 (KJV)

A home filled with love cannot harbor the devil. James 3:16 says, “For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.” Love resists evil, and a marriage rooted in love honors God and brings light to the world.

“Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.” – Matthew 5:14 (KJV)

Such homes impact generations positively. “The love you sow in your home will be the legacy you leave in your lineage.”

7. Secrets of Harmony in Marriage

A. Genuine Relationship with God

“If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar.” – 1 John 4:20-21 (KJV)

Spiritual alignment fuels marital alignment. A relationship with God is the oil that reduces friction in marriage. No two humans can live together in harmony without divine help.

B. Decide for Harmony Like Ruth

“Thy people shall be my people…” – Ruth 1:16 (KJV)

Harmony is a decision. Ruth chose to stay, despite uncertainties. Choose to walk together in spite of differences.

C. Reject Anti-Marriage Thoughts

Say no to ideologies that belittle or discourage marriage. Reject content that glamorizes divorce or mocks marital submission. “The world may belittle marriage, but heaven honors it.”

D. Accept Personal Responsibility for Your Marriage

Take responsibility for your role. Don't wait for your spouse to change. Be the first to adjust. “In marriage, the mirror is more useful than the magnifying glass.”

E. Be a Deliberate Lover

“A new commandment I give unto you… That ye love one another; as I have loved you.” – John 13:34 (KJV)

Deliberate love goes beyond emotions—it is action-based, persistent, and sacrificial.

F. Forgive in Advance

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another…” – Ephesians 4:32 (KJV)

Unforgiveness blocks intimacy. Learn to release offenses quickly. “Holding a grudge in marriage is like drinking poison and expecting your spouse to die.”

G. Look Beyond the Action to the Intention

“…for the Lord is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed.” – 1 Samuel 2:3 (KJV)

Sometimes your spouse’s action may be wrong, but their intent may not be. Seek understanding before reacting.

H. Seek First to Understand

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” – James 1:19 (KJV)

Many conflicts can be solved with patient listening. Hear with your heart, not just your ears.

I. Be Empathic and Meet Their Needs

Empathy bridges emotional gaps. Seek to know what your partner truly needs—emotionally, spiritually, and physically. “Understanding is love with its sleeves rolled up.”

J. Journey Together Intentionally

“Whither thou goest, I will go…” – Ruth 1:16 (KJV)

Face life together, not apart. Journey through dreams, decisions, and disappointments hand in hand.

K. Be Your Partner’s Best Friend

Marriage is more than love; it’s friendship. Share jokes, dreams, tears, and triumphs. Be their safe space and biggest fan. “When friendship and love marry each other, a home is born.”

Conclusion:

Marital dignity and harmony are not automatic—they are cultivated. With humility, commitment, purity, unity, love, and God's presence, any marriage can blossom. Like Helen and Chuka, you can transform your home from a battlefield into a paradise.

“Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it…” – Psalm 127:1 (KJV)

“He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.” – Psalm 113:9 (KJV)

Let your marriage be a testimony. Let it reflect heaven on earth.

Without Jesus we can do nothing.

If you want to give yourself to Jesus,

TAKE THIS PRAYERS 

Dear Lord Jesus, I confess I am a sinner in need of Your grace. I believe You died and rose for me. I turn from sin and invite You into my heart. Be my Lord and Savior. Fill me with Your Spirit. Help me follow You daily. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

 Congratulations. 

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Shalom.