TRUE STORY A FATHER'S RESOLVE

 

A FATHER’S RESOLVE: 

Choosing Love Over Limitations

Something happened today that touched me deeply. It was not just another family moment; it was a divine reminder of what it means to be a father, a husband, and a man under God’s grace.

I have three children from my life before marriage. When I eventually got married to my wife, we faced a long and painful season—seventeen years without a child. Seventeen years of prayers, tears, waiting, and holding on to hope. For many couples, such years stretch the heart, test the faith, and sometimes even threaten the bond of love. But we kept walking, believing that God, who opens and shuts the womb, would one day smile on us.

Then, in a step of faith, I adopted a son for my wife. This was not a casual decision. It came with sacrifice, and because of my spinal cord condition (C4–C5), I had to carefully plan. I told my wife: “You will care for this boy with your salary, and I will carter for the other three children with mine.” It sounded fair and balanced. I thought this would make the responsibility lighter for both of us.

But today, life taught me a lesson about love, sacrifice, and what it means to truly live for others.

A Mother’s Frustration

The boy we adopted had been falling sick frequently. The hospital bills piled up, medications consumed every naira, and my wife—who was solely responsible for him—was exhausted, both emotionally and financially.

In her frustration, she said words that pierced my heart: “If you don’t stop being sick, I will give you away.”

She didn’t mean it in cruelty; she was simply overwhelmed. She had given her all, spent every kobo she had, and was watching helplessly as the child she loved kept needing more. The African adage is true: “When the load is too heavy, even the strongest back bends.”

When I heard her words, something in me broke. I could see the frustration behind them, but I could also sense the danger of a child feeling unwanted.

A Father’s Sacrifice

I emptied my account that day. With my own health challenges, every naira mattered. But I couldn’t sit back and let this child feel unloved. I poured out everything to ensure he had what he needed. Soon, the boy was surrounded with the things required for his care—medicine, food, and comfort.

Then came the moment that melted my heart.

I overheard my wife speaking to him. Her tone had changed. She held him close and said softly, “I love you. I don’t want you to be sick. I don’t want to lose you.”

That was when I understood: her frustration was not lack of love, but the cry of a mother who had spent herself to the last drop.

And in that moment, I made a decision. With God on my side, spinal cord condition or not, I would take care of all my children. No separation, no condition, no division—because love is not divided, it is multiplied.

Lessons From This Story

Life is full of defining moments—moments when circumstances force us to choose between convenience and conviction, between self-preservation and sacrifice. This story is not just about me and my family; it is about every father, every mother, and every believer who faces situations where love must prove itself stronger than limitation.

The Bible says, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13, KJV). If such love is expected between friends, how much more between parents and children?

Here are some lessons from this experience:

1. Love is Costly, But Worth It

African elders say, “The child we carry on our back is heavy, but we never throw him away.” True love comes with weight. Raising children—biological or adopted—will cost money, energy, emotions, and sometimes even health. But love measures worth not by cost, but by value.

Paul reminds us, “Charity suffereth long, and is kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4, KJV). Love will endure sleepless nights, empty bank accounts, and wearied hearts, but in the end, it produces joy that money cannot buy.

2. Frustration Does Not Cancel Love

When my wife spoke those harsh words, I saw her humanity. Even the strongest hearts can grow weary. The prophet Elijah once prayed, “It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life” (1 Kings 19:4, KJV). That was not because he stopped loving God, but because he was overwhelmed.

Parents, pastors, leaders—sometimes we say things in our frustration that we don’t mean. Wisdom demands that we don’t judge people solely by their worst words but by their consistent actions.

3. Sacrifice Turns Pain Into Joy

When I emptied my account, I thought I was losing. But what I gained was beyond measure—the joy of seeing my wife reassure our son of her love, the peace of knowing I had stepped into my responsibility fully, and the strength of unity in our home.

Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35, KJV). Sacrifice may leave your pocket empty for a season, but it leaves your heart full forever.

4. Limitations Are Opportunities for God’s Strength

My spinal cord condition could have been an excuse to withdraw, to say, “Let her handle it; I have enough of my own battles.” But God reminded me that “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9, KJV).

Limitations are not prisons; they are platforms where God shows His power. When we step beyond our excuses, we step into His sufficiency.

5. Children Need Security, Not Just Provision

A child may forget the toys, clothes, or food you buy, but they will never forget the assurance of your love. If my son had only heard my wife’s frustration and never her reassurance, it could have planted a wound in his heart.

The Bible says, “As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you” (Isaiah 66:13, KJV). Children need comfort as much as provision. They need to know they are safe, wanted, and loved unconditionally.

A Call to Fathers and Mothers

Parenting is not easy. The proverb says, “It takes a village to raise a child.” And indeed, it takes sacrifice, patience, faith, and community. But above all, it takes love.

To fathers: your strength is not measured by your muscles or your bank account, but by your willingness to stand for your family when it costs you the most.

To mothers: your words carry life. Even in moments of frustration, remember that a child’s heart is tender, and one word can either wound or heal.

To couples: unity in responsibility strengthens the home. Shared burdens become lighter when both parents remember they are not competitors but companions in a divine assignment.

Living Beyond Self

My decision to care for all my children—spinal cord or not—is not just about survival. It is about legacy. The Bible says of Abraham, “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him” (Genesis 18:19, KJV).

One day, my children will grow up and tell their own stories. I want them to remember not just a father who provided, but a father who loved beyond his pain, who gave beyond his strength, and who trusted God beyond his limitations.

In Africa, we say, “The footprints you leave on the path today will guide your children tomorrow.” What I do now is not only shaping my home but also shaping the memory that will live after me.

Conclusion: Love Without Conditions

That day, something shifted in me. I realised that conditions divide love, but commitment multiplies it. God did not love us with conditions. The Scripture says, “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8, KJV).

If God loved me unconditionally, then I, too, must love my children without reservation.

So I stand today to say: with God on my side, I will take care of all my children. Not because it is easy, not because I have all the resources, but because love compels me, faith strengthens me, and grace sustains me.

Seasons will change, finances may rise and fall, health may be tested, but one thing will remain: the love of a father determined to live for his family.

For at the end of it all, what matters is n

ot what we kept for ourselves, but what we gave in love.