HELLO IT'S NOT EASY OH, I'VE BLOWN IT AGAIN.

 

“Hello, It’s Not Easy Oh—I've Blown It Again!”

By Ikechukwu Frank

The morning was bright, but my heart was cloudy. My wife gently nudged me awake, and our little daughter sat beside her, eyes full of innocence. They were there to help me get ready for church as they always do. Being a spinal cord injury patient with C4C5, my mobility depends largely on the help of others—especially my family. My wife fetched the basin of warm water, and as she poured it over my head, she suddenly paused.

“There’s no soap,” she said calmly. “Please give me ₦800 to buy mine so I can bathe you well.”

At that moment, something broke inside me—not in a good way. Frustration got the better of me. I lashed out verbally, accusing her of being unprepared, irresponsible, and inconsiderate. I yelled until the room felt smaller. She went on to bathe me without the soap, quietly and without a word. Our daughter stood silently in the corner, confused, afraid, and hurt. I had failed—not just as a husband, but as a father and servant of God.

By 7:00 am, I was dressed for church. My wife, who normally joins the second service by 9:00 am, walked in later. When I saw her at church wearing the same kind of outfit I was wearing, something flared up in me again. Anger. Suspicion. Pride. But as I fumed silently in the pew, a brother from church walked by, looked at me, and said gently but firmly:

“You need patience.”

Those words broke me more than anything else that morning. Not because they were harsh, but because they were true.

1. Understanding the Concept: The Battle of Self

Many people admire strength—the ability to command, to provide, to stand tall in the face of adversity. But true strength is not always physical. Sometimes, the hardest battles are those we fight within ourselves. The battle between pride and humility, between impatience and restraint, between love and frustration.

Proverbs 16:32 (KJV) says, “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”

In my weakness, I had lost that battle that morning. Not because I didn’t have soap, but because I didn’t have patience. In anger, I drowned the love of a woman who sacrifices daily for me. I bruised the spirit of a daughter who looks up to me. And I offended God in whose house I came to worship.

Adage: “The strength of a man is not shown in how loud he shouts, but how calm he remains when provoked.”

2. Dimensions of the Struggle: Where the Pain Runs Deep

a. Physically:

The spinal cord injury has taken much. It takes effort to move, to bathe, to even sit upright. My wife knows this. Every act she performs is love in action. Yet pain often makes us forget those who carry our burdens with us.

b. Mentally:

Pride and entitlement distort clarity. I felt she should have been prepared. I ignored the fact that she's also human, also tired, also stretched. Mental pride is a silent destroyer.

c. Emotionally:

Wounds from words cut deeper than physical ones. When I insulted her, I inflicted a scar on her heart. Emotional outbursts leave brokenness in their wake.

d. Maritally:

Trust and peace are fragile in any marriage. One morning of anger can tear down weeks of progress. Marriage thrives not on perfection but on forgiveness, empathy, and humility.

e. Spiritually:

You cannot worship well when your heart is bitter. My mouth sang praises, but my heart was clogged with rage. How can light and darkness dwell together?

Matthew 5:23-24 (KJV) says, “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift... first be reconciled to thy brother.”

3. Keys to Victory: Overcoming the Impulse to Blow It Again

a. Patience

Patience is not passivity—it is controlled strength. Waiting without snapping. Responding without attacking.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 (KJV) warns: “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.”

b. Gratitude

Instead of focusing on what I didn’t have (soap), I should have been grateful for what I did—her presence, her help, her love.

Adage: “When you count your blessings, your complaints lose their voice.”

c. Forgiveness

Ask for it quickly. Don't let pride bury your humility. After church that day, I looked into my wife's eyes and whispered, “I’m sorry.” Tears followed. Reconciliation began.

d. Self-Control

Galatians 5:22-23 (KJV) lists temperance as a fruit of the Spirit. It's not an optional skill—it’s a divine trait. It’s what stops you from saying what you’ll regret, doing what you’ll undo, and becoming who you’ll despise.

e. Prayer

True change begins in the heart. Only God can help us tame our impulses. I have since made it a habit to pray each morning, “Lord, help me not to blow it again today.”

4. The Pain of Neglect: The Price of Unchecked Anger

When you fail to manage your temper, the consequences ripple beyond you.

Your spouse feels unloved. Marriage loses its warmth.

Your children feel unsafe. They grow up anxious and timid.

Your spiritual life dries up. God resists the proud.

Your reputation suffers. People respect consistency, not emotional outbursts.

Your joy evaporates. Guilt becomes a heavy cloud over your peace.

James 1:20 (KJV) states, “For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”

Anger can’t produce love. Rage can’t build a home. It only destroys what patience can repair.

5. The Importance of Being Broken Before God

That morning, I learned that brokenness before God is better than pretending to have it all together. When that brother said, “You need patience,” I saw God speaking through him. It wasn’t a rebuke; it was a rescue.

Psalm 51:17 (KJV) says, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.”

My healing didn’t begin in the bathtub or at the altar—it began in my heart the moment I realized I had blown it... again. But God’s mercies are new every morning.

Lamentations 3:22-23 (KJV): “It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.”

6. Practical Steps: How to Avoid Blowing It Again

Pause before you speak. Count to ten if you must.

Pray as soon as you feel anger rising.

Appreciate the little things. A basin of water, a wife’s help, a child’s smile.

Say “thank you” and “I’m sorry” often. They are not signs of weakness but strength.

Make daily confessions. Speak calmness into your day.

Have accountability. Let someone close help you grow.

Adage: “He who checks himself early, saves himself sorrow later.”

7. Final Reflection: Learning to Love Loudly and Anger Softly

Today, I look back on that Sunday morning not with pride but with humility. I had the chance to reflect, repent, and reset. I blew it, yes—but I also grew from it.

To every man or woman reading this: you will blow it sometimes. You’ll shout when you should’ve been silent. You’ll hurt those you love. But never let pride win twice. Learn, apologize, change.

Proverbs 19:11 (KJV) says, “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.”

Let your glory be in patience, not pride. In love, not loudness. In gentleness, not judgment.

Conclusion: A New Day

That same wife who bathed me without soap still smiles at me every morning. That daughter still kisses me on the cheek before church. And me? I wake up now with one cry on my lips—“Lord, help me not to blow it again.”

Because life is too short to keep breaking what you’re called to build.

And God is too faithful to leave you the same.

“Hello, it’s not easy oh—but by His grace, I will not blow it again.”